A Final Word... (Part 1)

Dear friends and family, I want to write and thank everyone who walked with me through the entire process of serving in Cambodia. Well, even if you jumped into the process towards the end :-) , you have my deepest gratitude. It's almost surreal to look back and take in what transpired in my life from beginning to end, but one thing is certain - I couldn't have made it without all of you, whether by monetary support or prayer or letters of encouragement or care packages or just the daily Facebook updates and discourse that made some of the lonely evenings (when I actually had internet) a little more bearable. For all of this, thank you so much. Special gratitude also goes out to my church family at Grace Community. Y'all are the bomb dot com, no lie! This is "The Final Word..." because I wanted to kind of sum up the year as I see it now, looking back. At this point I've been back in the U.S. for a solid month, and I've finally had time to sort of "calm down" and collect my thoughts in a meaningful way that, hopefully, makes sense to others. It's so, so difficult while on the field to communicate all the little daily things that, at the time, are so meaningful. One thing turns into another and another and soon it's hard to remember what was what, but hindsight, I've learned, can provide a little clarity. So, with that in mind, here are the most memorable points; please enjoy any silliness for what it is, and claim the acts of service as your own because you were half of the equation. I went to Cambodia because of a burden the Lord put on my heart for that country years and years ago. People always ask, "Why Cambodia?" But to me that's like asking someone, "Why's your favorite color blue???" I dunno... I grew up around Cambodians, went to school and church with them, and cried when I heard their stories of exodus from a beautiful homeland torn apart by communism. I was genuinely humbled to be around them, and, finally, was invited to visit their country. The Var family, one of my favorite families outside of my own, took me in and shared their culture and time and experiences with me. Their story is a remarkable one that never ceases to amaze me when I think about it. So through them Cambodia entered my life, and I became all the better for it. And after my first visit I knew this place had stolen a part of my heart. The Cambodian people are truly some of the best in the world. Obviously I'm biased, but you can ask any person that visits - relief worker or tourist alike - and you'll hear the same thing. Every year people travel there and get hooked and find ways to stay or come back. In the midst of such an ancient culture that values family and hospitality and hard work, it boggles the mind how it could be destroyed by such violent ideology as happened in the Seventies. A quick history lesson will reveal the hand America played in that tragedy, both through action and inaction, and politics and patriotism aside I felt a sense of personal responsibility as an American to at least do something to help restore some of what was lost. As a Christian, I really desire to see Cambodia's economic recovery and educational development coupled with spiritual freedom and wholeness. The only way to really do something about any of this is to go, so I went. The first couple months were hard. Leaving family and friends wasn't as easy as I wanted it to be. The first month away I spent in Hanoi doing training, and then the first two months in Cambodia were structureless because, as we found out upon arrival, university wasn't taking in until November. That made transition so much harder. I changed houses twice before settling in on campus. Not a huge deal... But adjusting to another culture seems to magnify every little stress in life. The hardest part was trying to find some way to be useful other than just feeding the mosquitoes. Remarkably enough, the door opened for me to teach some Spanish classes at an after-school club. It was...well...it was weird...but fun. During that transition time I also connected with a Christian relief group - Kone Kmeng - that really blessed with me opportunities for service that continued throughout the year. They basically work through local churches in communities that have the most need. Specifically they try to intervene in the lives of children who are at risk of poverty, neglect, and abuse. The sex trade is rampant in this part of the world. Cambodia remains one of sixteen countries blacklisted by the US and other nations for sex trafficking. Kone Kmeng has stepped in on a grass-roots level to help solve this social problem by equipping and educating Christian communities around Cambodia. I was blessed to be a part of their work through newsletter writing and some other media projects. Now that I'm back here in the States I'm still able to help and hope to do so in greater ways in the future. Once university took in, I and my teammates moved on campus and began our teaching. I'm going to make a harsh statement here but I'll explain it - working in the Cambodian educational system is like being center act in a three-ring circus. To begin with, many of our students hailed from very rural corners of the nation and as such had never seen a foreigner. Combine this with the fact that there were only three non-Asians, i.e. us, on campus, and it made for very long walks through gauntlets of stares and hushed tones every day....literally until the last day I was there. My teammate Ben and I used to speculate as to what they might be thinking, and we discussed strategies for dealing with our newfound celebrity. I think we were both a little relieved to discover each of us felt equally ridiculous. "Do we smile? Do we return the stares? Do we just keep our heads down?" I tried all three, sometimes in combination. Sometimes for a diversion I would do weird things like smile at every third stare, and my favorite way to walk the gauntlet was to imagine little thought bubbles with what they might be thinking - "Hey, get a load of this guy!" The best was when I'd see a group staring at me and then one of them would turn to the others, followed by muffled laughter. When I say circus act, I mean it. As for the administration, schedules are more like suggestions, assemblies are an excuse for The Powers That Be to blow hot air about academic excellence and border conflicts to the north, and mandatory forms in three languages turn out to be completely unnecessary once you've taken two hours to fill them out. As for the students, well... Let's just say attendance is more like a hobby for most (I mean, why go to class when you can play soccer???) What we call "cheating" Cambodian students call "helping", and boy do they like helping each other. There was always that five percent that seemed to care about at least some of the things we said... They made it worthwhile. I can probably sum up the educational system with these two stories: One day I was complaining to my Cambodian boss about all the cheating. He reassured me that this must not be allowed. "Take their test away if they cheat!" he exclaimed. So...well...I did. The student-victim was warned......five times.....didn't listen......I took the test. He threw his bookbag out the window and stormed out in a rant. The rest of the students looked put off. I was pleased. Then I realized they were stunned with me. It was like, "Hey! White guy! We're trying to take a test here!" When I relayed these happenings to my boss, he looked sad and started shaking his head. "Oh Bryant," he said. "We musn't take their test but only inform them that we will take it." Did I miss something? "But you said to take the test..." "Yes, but we have to understand their situation. Sometimes they cannot know all the answers because it is so difficult for them. So we just warn them." Moments like this...well... I didn't know what to say then and I still don't. Another Moment of Excellence in Cambodian academics occurred around the time of Cambodian New Year. It's a three-day holiday in April. Keep in mind we already had a holiday for January 1st, and then another for Chinese New Year. Now with the Cambodian New Year, it's no holds barred. Ok, so there's three days on the calendar. The school was supposed to take ten days off, and I kept asking my boss, "When will we break for the holiday?" His reply: "Oh Bryant, maybe a week or two before the new year. I don't know. We have to see when the students will stop coming." Sure. Whatever. "So when will we start classes again?" A logical question. "Oh Bryant, maybe it will be a long time before they return to school." Hmmmm.... "Ok, so when do you think?" I felt pushy. "No one is exactly sure, but I will inform you, ok?" Turns out we had the entire month off. My brief journey in Cambodian academics saw all sorts of weirdness from questions about 50 Cent lyrics to classes not showing up because of rain (it rains every day for half the year) to being told I was the most beautiful teacher a student ever had (he was particularly enthralled) to playing American football in class (you gotta get creative sometimes). But I said I would explain my statement, and here it goes: Despite the circus-like conditions, you have to consider that these folks had everything, and I mean everything, taken from them just thirty years ago. All educational institutions were emptied or destroyed, the educated were executed in the hundreds of thousands (today the highest number of the best-education Cambodians live in either the US, Australia, or France), eighty percent of the population was relocated, families separated, forced labor, communist indoctrination... Paranoia and fear dominated the psyche of the people for years. When it was over, a quarter of the population was dead, and the rest were left to make something of the rubble. Things don't change over night. In America we can't imagine that sort of nightmare. Not that we remember it, but even our own revolution, bloody though it was, was fought on the battlefield while our social infrastructure and ideals and values remained, strengthened and even defined by the fight. For the last century we've fought wars only on foreign soil, and today we have no idea...haven't got a clue what it's like to have our way of life seriously threatened much less destroyed. So if things were a circus over there, if they got a little weird, I could at least see the Grace in there even being a university at all. Rebuilding takes time. Ok folks. If you've persevered through this, God bless you. I'll wrap up the rest of the year with specifics in part 2. I think I've adequately set the stage for the rest of the story at any rate. What's next? Elephants, soldiers, drunken tourists... Stay tuned. Grace and peace, Bryant